It's true.  I am a hero. 

♫All hail the conquering hero!♫

Pheasants love me.  Coyotes respect me. 

Let me explain.  Those of you who live in Richland (hey, Butch! hey, Belle!) know that there are a lot of coyotes around town.  There are lots of them behind my house, in fact.  Normally when we hear the coyotes we ignore them.  They're always singing as a pack and I don't know the words.  So I ignore them.

Yesterday was different.  I was out bright and early and what do I see?  A big, fat coyote headed toward MY yard and MY pheasant.  Oh, I haven't told you about the pheasant.  See, we have this big open space behind our yard and in addition to the coyotes there are quail, jackrabbits, and a family of pheasants.  There's a big male and his two lady friends.  The bosses have named them Pleasant, Plucky, and Lucky.  The bosses are strange.  AnyLoo, I just call them Delicious.  I would like to call them for supper.  You know, call them anything but don't call them late for dinner.  Get it?  Hahahaha!  I slay me.  Pleasant likes to wander around and take a walk in the mornings and so I knew that coyote could be trouble.

And believe me, nobody is eating my pheasant.  Me included, now that I mention it.  But if I can't eat him, ain't nodoggie gonna eat him.

So I barked.  "Hey, buddy, get lost!  That's my pheasant!"  And he stopped.  So I said, "Beat it you mangy mutt!  You want tickets to this gun show?"  and I show him my stuff.  And he leaves!  Go Whigle, go Whigle!  Yay me. 

Now all the birds love me.  I for one think they should show their gratitude by offering me a sacrifice of one of their own but the boss ma'am said no.  She did say I was a good boy and I got some chicken jerky. 

Mmm...birds.