Dateline:  LyleTV

We here at LyleTV are dedicated to bringing you the most important news, all the time. Lucky for me and my nap schedule there is not much important news.

However, the Dateline: LyleTV staff has recently sniffed out a dangerous new trend-- untrained practitioners performing squeakerectomies on stuffed toys. Since many of my dedicated viewers are surrounded by new squeaky toys brought by Santa, I knew it was time for Dateline: LyleTV to teach you how to spot these charlatans.

A talented squeakerectomy surgeon is licensed and vaccinated. He or she will never try to goad a toy into an unnecessary procedure. When a squeakerectomy is indicated, it will be done with precision and minimal fluff loss. The best of us can actually perform Minimally Invasive Squeakerectomies. It is truly a work of art.

 

Behold, the work of a hack. Witness the destruction and total fluff loss. Don't allow your toys to come under the teeth of one of these fakes. It will only end in tragedy.

Ask to see your surgeon's license. Check his tags. Ask to see examples of his work. Any squeakerectomizer worth his kibble will be happy to show you.  You can thank me later.