Lyle's Book Club

I found a book every dog should read. It's called The Dangerous Book for Dogs by Rex and Sparky. It is brilliant.

For a special holiday treat, I have decided to read to you some tips from the book. I think you'll find them helpful for all your holiday celebrations.

Grab some popcorn and marshmallows and curl up by the fire. Uncle Lyle is reading a story.

From Chapter 2: Begging--A primer:

"There are many styles, methods, and schools of thought as to the most successful methods of begging. Dogs have debated this topic for ages, but, in the end, you must find the style that suits you best. Regardless of which style you choose, here are a few guidelines to follow.

Correct Form

Posture

Is your head erect? Is your back straight? Are you seated comfortably enough to maintain this position throughout a five-course dinner?

Eyes

Many a meal is won or lost with a trick of the eyes. You may choose a docile, desperate, or hopeful look, but whichever you choose, be sure to maintain eye contact with your owner. You are hypnotizing him. He must look directly into your eyes. He is under your control. He will give you the porterhouse. He will...give...you...the porterhouse. For best results, do not blink. Ever.

Ears

Your body doesn't stop at the top of your head, and neither should your technique. Always follow through with your ears. Floppy ears should extend out to the sides as much as possible. Pointed ears should remain high and sharp. Remember, good posture starts in the ears and ends in the toes. Use every inch in between to your advantage."

Good stuff, huh? Come back tomorrow and I will read to you from Chapter 9: How to Escape Humiliating Costumes.