Survivor:  Backyard--Episode 6

Handsome Host Lyle: We're back in my yard as our teams prepare for their second challenge. Any predictions for this one, MacKenzie?

Beautiful Hostess MacKenzie: It's a tough call, Lyle. I don't really see either team coming into this one with an advantage. It's all going to depend on how well they work together.

HH: Let's see how our teams are doing so far. The Dead Petunias have grabbed the weed whacker, a hedge trimmer and a bunch of shovels and they're racing off to their end of the yard. The Empty Birdfeeders have the lawnmower and some rakes.

McK: The Dead Petunias look really motivated today. I think they're still stinging from their loss in the last challenge. Rosie is a blur behind those hedge trimmers. Clippings are flying everywhere, and Morgan is gathering them up as fast as they fall. Vincent is busy with the weed whacker. Good thing he's a big guy--he can handle the horsepower on that thing.

HH: The Empty Birdfeeders are having a little more trouble handling their horsepower. Looks like that lawnmower is getting the best of Comu'. Whoa! He's headed straight for the fence. Baxter's rushing to help him but I think this bronco's gonna buck him off in under 8. Here's Maebe, she's running straight at the mower and biting at the wheels. Boy, they've got their paws full over here.

McK: The Dead Petunias are already done with the weeding on their side of the yard, Lyle. Rosie has trimmed the hollies into topiaries. Very impressive! Now she's chewing sticks into mulch. Vincent is digging holes and Morgan is following behind him, planting bulbs.

HH: The Empty Birdfeeders have finally bested the mower and have moved on to trimming trees. They've apparently started Maebe up on her coffee again because she's bouncing to the tops of the trees with a pruner. She's doing a pretty good job, though. Goldie has just come out of their shelter with a plate of what smells like freshly baked peanut butter cookies. The Empty Birdfeeders are taking a milk and cookie break, and Goldie is giving them a little pep talk.

McK: I think the Dead Petunias can smell those cookies, because they're starting to look a little distracted and drooly. I hope this doesn't cost them the challenge!

HH: Those cookies sure lit a fire under the Empty Birdfeeders! They're fertilizing the roses and watering the bushes with some real attitude. Now they're actually filling the birdfeeders! Nice touch, guys.

McK: Time's up!

Who will win? Stay tuned to find out!

Survivor:  Backyard--Episode 7

Handsome Host Lyle: Welcome back to Survivor: Backyard! Our teams have just completed their second challenge, Yard Work.

Beautiful Hostess MacKenzie: The Empty Birdfeeders, well, I suppose we could call them the Filled Birdfeeders, now, couldn't we? They were off to a rough start but after a cookie break they really pulled together. Was it enough?

HH: The Dead Petunias have pulled up their namesakes and really shaped up their section of the yard. Rosie's topiaries are something to see. Quite a talent, that one. I've invited our Guest Judge to come and declare our winner. Hidey ho, Boss Man.

BMn: Hi Lyle. What on earth have you and your friends done out here? Is that bush in the shape of a cow?

HH: Pretty cool, huh?

BMn: I actually kind of like the one that looks like a goat.

Rosie: He likes it! Are we the winners?

BMn: Well, I do think that Vincent, Rosie and Morgan have really outdone themselves. But everyone did a great job. Thanks for all your help in the yard, guys.

HH: Okay, bye now, Boss Man. Buh-bye.

McK: Congratulations, Dead Petunias! As the winners of this challenge, you now have the chance to kidnap a member of the other team. Who would you like to kidnap?

Dead Petunias (in unison, without hesitation): Goldie!

Goldie gives kisses to her former teammates and joins the Dead Petunias, bearing cookies. The Dead Petunias do a happy dance.

HH: Empty Birdfeeders, you must now vote off one member of your team. You will meet us at the Council Fire tonight...but afterwards one of you will leave the yard.

Who will leave the yard? Will there be enough cookies for all the Dead Petunias? Stay tuned and find out!

Intermission

While I'm waiting for the votes from the Empty Birdfeeders, I decided to go on vacation. And I just can't keep it a secret any longer: I met Kiko and Josie and their mom and dad! Kiko is even more beautiful in the fur than she is in her pictures. Those spots...those freckles...those silky soft ears! And Josie! Her long beautiful fur...her big brown eyes! They're so sweet! And their mom and dad are among the nicest people I've ever met, paws down. I think I might move to South Carolina.

I also thought I'd share some of my travel wisdom while I'm on vacation.

Lyle's Tips for Truck Travel
1. Try to get a spot in the front seat. Never give up. The front seat is where all the action is.
2. Remember that whenever you stop, turn, or slow down, you might be "there." Get up and bark "Are we there yet?" loudly in the boss man's ear. Every time, just in case.
3. Stop along the way and meet a friend or 4. It makes for a great trip!! Especially if you meet a friend who makes chicken jerky...mmm...chicken jerky...I do love Kiko's mom...
4. Try to stick your nose out the window so you can smell where you are going. The wind might make you snort and sneeze, which might get everyone else in the truck all wet with your nose juice but don't let that bother you.
5. If you get lost (twice) trying to find where you are staying, you should bark, pace, and whine while you are driving around in circles. It helps to relax your bosses.

Lyle's Guide to the Beach

1. If you are visiting shark infested waters, make sure to bring along someone who will always be farther out in the water than you. This is your Chum Buddy. Mine is Spring.
2. It's illegal to eat the things on the beach that are still alive. You can carry them around and roll on them but you're not supposed to eat them.
3. It is perfectly legal to eat the dead things you find on the beach.
4. Sea water tastes terrible. Sea foam is just plain frightening. Like a big salty bath. *shudder*
5. Whenever you see sea birds, you should bark like crazy so everyone knows to look. Find a little kid with a sandwich and wait for seagulls. If no seagulls show up, see if you can get the little kid to feed you her sandwich.
6. Doin' your bidness in the big sandy litterbox doesn't make you a cat. Thank goodness.

Next: Lyle's Guide to Vacation Home Living!