The strangest thing has happened. My toys have begun speaking to me. Not all of them, of course. I'm not crazy, for heaven's sake. Just the Good Cuz and the Bad Cuz.

Good Cuz says things like, "Treat your toys gently" and "Share with Spring." I have started throwing him down the stairs.

Bad Cuz says, "Destroy your toys. Start with the Good Cuz." He also says, "Hold me up over Spring's head so she can't reach me. It will drive her crazy." I like Bad Cuz.

Bad Cuz likes it when I toss my toys down the stairs.

So does Dexter, apparently. Seems that our Chairman is a Deep Thinker, just like me. He has suggested some very interesting experiments that may finally earn me my Nobel Prize. As soon as his cat comes in the mail, I'll be able to get started.

In the meantime, though, I have been very busy teasing Spring with my Cuz. I love to get her all fired up. She is a terrier, so it isn't hard to do. Still, I think I do it especially well. After all, I'm Crock O'Lyle...Insti-Gator.