High Stakes
Chapter 33

          “You can do this,” Samantha reassured me.  I simply smiled.  I didn’t need reassurance.  Her plan was brilliant.  I flipped the switch on the karaoke machine and flashed my star-powered smile, whispering, “Showtime!” The first notes began and I sang with all my heart.

      “Blue Loo!
    You saw me standing alone
    Without a steak in my mouth
    Without hotdogs of my own.
    Blue Loo! You knew just what I was there for…OUCH!  What the heck was that?” Something hard had pelted me on the crown of my head, just to the left of my Bump of Knowledge.  I rubbed the spot, which was already growing a lump, and looked around for the missile that caused it.  Samantha found it first.

          “It’s a frozen Cornish hen!” she said as she snatched the bird.  “It’s mine!  I saw it first.”  She shot me a warning look and huddled protectively over her prize.

          “Who would throw a chicken at me?” I wondered, completely dumbfounded.

          Sinty held up a shushing paw, listening carefully.  “The beagle threw it.  Said something about putting ‘that poor cat’ out of its misery,” she reported.

          “Cat??  Misery??” I snorted.  How dare they mock my signature song?  I was furious, spoiling for a fight.  I looked all around for something with which to return fire, but couldn’t find anything I was willing to lose. I finally settled on the remaining cocktail weenies, but even those seemed too precious to part with.  Reluctantly, I grabbed a mini-dog and took a bite, hurling the remainder toward the beagle with all my might.

          “Hey!” exclaimed a voice which seemed to be originating from a shadow about a foot and a half from the front bumper of the jaguar.  The stranger spoke again.  “What on earth?  A half eaten cocktail weenie?  Lyle, is that you?”

          “Morgan!  You’re okay!  What happened to you?  How did you know it was me?”

          Morgan emerged from the shadows, unscathed, holding half a cocktail weenie in her paw.  I took it, ate it, and offered her a napkin, which she accepted gratefully. “Who else would it be, throwing half a hot dog.  Not to mention you throw like a girl.”  She glanced over at Samantha and added, “I guess it could have been her.”

          Samantha narrowed her eyes crossly and stroked her Cornish hen, shifting it out of sight.  It was only then that I realized that Morgan was not alone.  I was startled to see that she had three other dogs with her.  I immediately recognized Sadie, but the other two were unfamiliar. 

          Morgan quickly introduced us.  “Lyle, this is Star and Cassie.  You already know Sadie.  Girls, this is Lyle.”  They all seemed to be sharing some sort of private joke because they were smiling and giggling as we shared introductory sniffs.  Samantha stiffened and moved closer to Sinty, who seemed unconcerned. 

          “It was you, wasn’t it,” Samantha hissed.  “You attacked Sinty.”

          Star, Sadie, and Cassie exchanged nervous glances.  Samantha looked like she was out for blood. 

          Morgan stepped between them.  “Wait.  Let me tell you what really happened.”

Chapter 34 

          As Morgan prepared to tell her story, I kept a wary eye on the hooligans in the restaurant parking lot across the street.  They seemed to have forgotten about our diversion and were now busily loading white-wrapped parcels into Seva’s Ferrari.  I kept the other eye on Samantha, who appeared to be torn between protecting Sinty and launching herself at the throats of the trio of waitresses.  For the moment she was sticking with Sinty, so Morgan began.

          “You know that these three had been having lots of private conversations,” she said, gesturing toward Star, Sadie and Cassie. Samantha nodded vigorously.  “Well, I thought they were worth investigating, so that’s why I followed them tonight.”

          “Aren’t stakeouts fun?” I interjected, wagging my tail and helping myself to a cookie.

          “Mm-hmm,” she replied noncommittally, and continued.  “Anyway, when I got to Star’s place and saw them all together I was sure they were plotting something but I had no idea what it might be.  Then they all sat down together and I realized I’d been wrong the entire time.  They have a bridge club!  Bridge!  With only three players, can you imagine it?  So I did what I had to do and joined in as their fourth.”

          I’d never been so proud of Morgan.  She was truly following in my furry footsteps.  It was exactly what I would have done.  Apparently they also had a nice little chat while they were playing cards and Morgan discovered that Star, Cassie, and Sadie were indeed at the restaurant when Sinty was injured.

          “I knew it!” seethed Samantha, and Sinty and I had to physically restrain her.

          “It’s not what you think,” Star said.

          “We’re really sorry,” Cassie added.

          Samantha was not mollified.  She was, in fact, livid.  “What did you do to her?” she demanded.

          “We didn’t do anything,” Sadie said, but somehow it came out sounding like a confession. 
          “We should have, though,” Star admitted, and then elaborated:  “We were in the kitchen discussing when the bridge club would meet next.  We thought we were alone.  I mean, we tried to keep it quiet because, well, bridge just isn’t cool, you know, and we didn’t want anyone to think we weren’t cool.”

          “I think bridge is cool,” Sinty offered sweetly.  Star smiled and continued. 

          “You were there,” she said, looking at Sinty, “but we didn’t see you until you hit your head on that big stockpot that Bullet hangs over his workbench.”

          “I keep telling him someone’s going to knock themselves out on that thing one of these days,” Cassie declared.  “And then you did.”

          “That’s probably why I don’t remember being attacked,” Sinty mused. 

          “We should have called for an ambulance,” Sadie admitted, “but we thought you didn’t like us and we were afraid that someone would think we hit you.  So we ran.  We shouldn’t have, and we’re really sorry.”

          They were all hugging and making nice when I happened to glance back to the meat truck.  “I think they’re getting ready to leave,” I said, alarmed.

          “Who is leaving?” asked Cassie.  When she followed my gaze to Furio’s truck she said matter-of-factly, “Oh, the Kobe beef is here.”

          We all turned simultaneously to stare at her, our mouths open, me drooling slightly.

          She shrugged her shoulders, as if this should be common knowledge.  “I saw Beau Chein sign the order for it.  It was going to be delivered after hours for security reasons.  I wonder where Beau and Bullet are.”

          I was wondering the same thing.

Chapter 35

          We squabbled about what to do next.  Morgan tried to convince us that we had the upper paw by sheer force of numbers.  A minute or two of calculations brought me to the conclusion that we outnumbered the bad guys by more than two to one. 

          “You were spending all this time figuring that out?” Morgan asked incredulously.

          “I sprained a toe doing that math, thank you very much,” I sulked, licking my sore foot.  I soldiered on in spite of the pain.  “Does anyone have a key to the front door?” I asked the girls.  “If we could go in through the front, they wouldn’t see us and then we’d also have the advantage of surprise.”

          Sadie quickly produced a set of keys and Morgan nodded her approval.  “We should post a lookout here,” Morgan suggested.  “We can use our walkie-talkies.”

          We nominated Sinty to be our lookout.  Amnesia or no, she was still recovering from an injury and we all thought it best to keep her out of harm’s way as much as possible.  We stationed her in the front seat of the Jaguar with a pile of snacks and a two-way radio.  The rest of us crept from shadow to shadow to meet at the front entrance of the restaurant.

          We were all tense and jumpy, even once we were inside the relative safety of Miss Steak.  I led the group to the kitchen and slowly pushed open the swinging double doors.  My already frayed nerves nearly unraveled completely when Samantha let out a stifled scream.

          “Over here!” she cried.  I hurried over to the walk-in refrigerator, where Samantha was busy trying to untie a crude set of knots holding the doors shut.  Inside, I could see Bullet and Beau Chein, tied up like calves at a rodeo.  In a few moments, we had them freed and they stood shivering, rubbing their wrists and licking their hocks where the ropes had bound them.

           “Did they make off with the meat?” Bullet asked through chattering teeth.  “That was what they were after, isn’t it?”

          “Not yet,” I replied.  “They’re still outside.”

          “We have to stop them,” Beau Chein declared.

          We were all in agreement on that point.  We searched the kitchen for weapons.  I wielded an oh-so-shiny saucepot.  Morgan had a death grip on a rolling pin.  Sadie, Star and Cassie armed themselves with a melon baller, a salad fork, and an eggbeater.  Samantha had brought her cleft stick from the Jaguar.  We stood at the service door and waited for Sinty’s signal. 

Chapter 36

          The truth is I was worried about our chances with Basil and Quincy.  Notwithstanding our mathematical advantage, it was clear to me that we were dealing with professionals.  They would probably be skilled, or at least experienced, in fighting.  If I was going to be responsible for stopping Basil and Quincy, as well as protecting the skins of the rest of my hastily assembled team, well, I was going to be nervous about it.  I think what I said was, “We’re going to get slaughtered out there.”

          I was not as reassured as one might think by the responses of the ladies, coming as they did with such baleful stares.  Samantha, as it turned out, was the champion kick boxer in the state.  Sadie, Star, and Cassie (in addition to being dangerous on the bridge circuit, from what I understand) were all black belts in the same karate class.  I certainly couldn’t have known that Morgan was a member of the local Roller Derby. 

          “So what are you bringing to the party, Mr. L?” Morgan asked icily.

          I met her gaze beat for beat and proudly replied, “I have a TaeBo DVD.”

          She didn’t have a chance to be impressed, because at that moment the walkie-talkie crackled to life.  Sinty cried, “Go now!  Go!”

          I nodded at the culinary cavalry standing behind me and threw open the door.  We ran out howling and brandishing our kitchen gear.  Seva, Basil and Quincy stood frozen in surprise, but only for a moment.  As I had suspected, Basil and Quincy knew how to handle themselves in a skirmish.  I was astonished to see that Seva also appeared to be skilled in the martial arts.  I should have recognized it sooner:  TaeBo thighs.

          Star managed to sneak into the meat truck to free Furio and we added him to our ranks.  He seemed more than happy to join in the fracas.  I, unfortunately, lost my focus for a brief second when I caught my reflection in my shiny saucepot.  I was so impressed with my valiant image that I didn’t see Quincy approach.  He thumped my melon with my own saucepot.  Luckily Sadie was standing nearby with her melon baller and gave him a thrashing.  He was yowling pitifully as scoops of fur went flying in every direction.

          Basil had his tail caught in the business end of Cassie’s eggbeater but couldn’t escape, because Samantha and Morgan had him cornered, and Samantha was clobbering him with her cleft stick.  He too, cried, “Uncle!” and I knew victory was at paw.

          I was proudly surveying the battlefield when I saw to my horror that Seva had managed to make her way to the Ferrari.  She was peeling out of the parking lot and I took off after her at a dead run, Bullet and Furio at my heels.  I grabbed hold of the rear spoiler, claws scrabbling on the well polished paint.  Bullet caught up just in time to give me a shove and my front legs ended up in the passenger seat, which was piled high with packages of meat.  I only had a moment to lick them before there was a deafening noise and the world went dark.  The last thing I remember is the packages of meat flying through the air like soft, juicy clouds beside me.  If I have to die, I thought, this is as good a way as any to go.

Chapter 37

          I didn’t die, of course, but I’ll still contend that it wouldn’t have been a bad way to go about it.  I awoke to see Samantha’s face mere inches from mine.  She was slapping my chest with her paw and shouting, “Lyle!  Wake up!  Lyle!”

          I rose up on one elbow and blinked slowly to clear my head, which was pounding.  I had apparently added another goose egg to my collection.  Not a bad one, but combined with the other two I’d so recently received, it must have been enough to cause a mild concussion.  I had no idea how long I’d been unconscious.

          “What happened?” I asked.

          Samantha’s eyes grew wide.  “You don’t remember?” she asked, alarmed.  “He has amnesia!” she shouted to nobody in particular.

          “No I don’t,” I retorted.  “I was unconscious.  How could I possibly know what happened while I was out?”

          Samantha didn’t seem convinced by this answer, but let it drop.  She and Sinty began to relate the events of the previous few minutes in rapid fire dialog.  My head was spinning in addition to aching just trying to follow along.  The gist of it was this:  Sinty had seen Seva attempting her bold getaway in the Ferrari and done the only thing she could think to do to stop her. 

          “I pulled out in front of her and she T-boned me,” Sinty reported proudly.

          “Mmm…T-bones,” I said.

          Seva and Sinty had both been wise enough to wear their seatbelts and had emerged from the crash uninjured.  I was the only casualty.  I’d flown off the car in a hailstorm of meat.   Seva was undeterred and took off on foot with as much Kobe beef as she could carry.  The rest of the cavalry raided Furio’s meat truck and began pelting her with the remaining meat in order to impede her escape.  A particularly well-slung rope of sausages tangled up her legs and she was apprehended.  Quincy and Basil had reportedly been very cooperative upon their arrest.

          “The police are here?” I asked, incredulous. 

“I called them as soon as you all went into the restaurant,” Sinty admitted.  “I was pretty sure we were going to need them one way or the other.  I didn’t call an ambulance, though.  Sorry.”

I reassured her that I was fine.  I stood up and shook myself off.  Behind us, Lucky was loading Quincy, who looked very forlorn and moth-eaten, into the back of his cruiser.  Basil was already inside.  If his tail had survived the eggbeater attack, he wasn’t showing it.  Nearby stood Seva, who somehow managed to look elegant in spite of the handcuffs she wore.  Furio, Bullet, and Beau Chein were recovering the meat and carrying it into the restaurant.  I greeted Lucky.

          “Thanks for coming, buddy,” I said.

          “You know I never miss a party with food,” he replied, smiling. 

          I gestured toward Seva.  “Any idea why they did it?  Have they talked?”

          He nodded.  “These three had set up a deal to steal the Kobe beef and split the take.  Basil and Quincy were just in it for the money, I think.  Seva says she had to take it for ‘moral reasons.’” Lucky smiled wryly at Seva, who shouted, “And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids.”

          Lucky patted my back and congratulated me.  For a moment I was confused, but then I realized the case was solved.  I had been the detective in charge and now I was a hero.  Sinty and Samantha both gave me a lick on the cheek.  Sadie, Star and Cassie told me to come in to the restaurant any time; they’d take good care of me.  Morgan stood by and watched me receive my accolades, a look of sheer disbelief on her face.  I winked at her and she rolled her eyes, but finally smiled.

          “What’s going to happen to the restaurant?” I asked.

          Bullet was passing by with an armload of meat and said, “I don’t know, but the Festival will go on.  I’ll see to that.”

          Another police car arrived to take Seva away.  I walked over to her and said, “I’m sorry.  I really am.”

          “Not half as sorry as I am,” she spat.  “Do you see what you’ve done?  Common dogs from anywhere will be eating this precious beef tomorrow.  Do you think any of them will appreciate it?  Do you think any of them will love it the way I would?  It’s a travesty!  Some dog will probably put steak sauce on it.” She shuddered and began to weep.  I watched in silence as the police took them away.

Epilogue

The Food Festival was a huge success.   Miss Steak’s Kobe beef was the highlight of the event.  I went through the line for it seventeen times before Bullet kicked me out.  The last time through, I took a moment to dedicate a bite to Seva.  Before I did, though, I dipped it in steak sauce.

          Furio was so pleased with us for rescuing him and his meat that he promised to give us all free steaks for a year.  He had not anticipated Samantha’s and my appetites, however, so had to rescind his offer after only a month lest he face bankruptcy.

          Bullet bought the restaurant and hired Beau Chein as his head chef.  Samantha is now a sous-chef in charge of the grill.  They’ve renamed the place Steak Your Claim and decorated it with a Western theme.  It’s the most popular restaurant in town, for good reason, but I can get a table any time.

          Morgan decided to stay on at the restaurant.  She’s joined the bridge club and Sadie, Star and Cassie’s karate class.  She’s trying to convince Sinty and Samantha to join her in the roller derby.

          As for me, well, I figured I’d reached the pinnacle of my detective career with the Miss Steak case.  It’s time for me to move on.  I’m thinking my next career will really showcase my talents.  Bullet needs live entertainment at his place, and I’m just the dog to provide it.  I’ve even been working on a new song.

      Crazy
    I’m crazy for feelin’ so hungry
    You’re crazy
    Crazy for not feeding the Loo

    I knew
    You’d feed me as much as I wanted
    And then someday
    You’d leave me to feed somebody new

    Worry
    Why do I let myself worry?
    Wonderin’
    What in the world did I do?

   Crazy
    For thinking that your meals could hold me
    I’m crazy for tryin’
    And crazy for cryin’
    And I’m crazy with hunger too!