♫I'm a travelin' dog, don't tie me down♫
♫There's just too much livin' goin' on around♫
♫A dog has got to see what he can see♫

♫But the road is long and home is far♫
♫And I don't want to ride in the car♫
♫So...♫

I have been giving this teleporter thing a lot of thought.  It seems to me that it should not be any harder than time travel.  And my time travel machine was nearly perfect.

So I puzzled it out.

Tele...

Port...

That seems easy enough.  But clearly I'm missing something.  Aha.  Funny how all of my inventions work better with tape.

AnyLoo, I'm ready to give it a go!  So I fire it up and send myself across the room.  I'll give it a moment or two.

But I just can't wait to see if it worked!  So I go over to the other side of the room and WHOOLOO!!! There I am!! 

My invention works!  Teleportation is a complete success!!  No more long car rides for this Whigle.

Who wants to buy stock in this?