I watched Zombieland with the bosses this week. They have a thing for monster movies. AnyLoo, I thought it was going to be pretty good when the cowboy guy seemed to be a dog lover. But that's not how it turned out so I kind of lost interest. But it occurred to me that maybe I should write down some rules.
Now you know of course that I like rules. I have lots of them. Rules for games, stuff like that. (No tail tugging!) But I think the World-At-Large could benefit from knowing them all.
Lyle's Rules for Life:
1. Be first in line for the good stuff. (like snacks)
2. Be first in line for the unavoidable bad stuff. (like getting your temperature taken at the vet)
3. Have a good hiding place. (for the avoidable bad stuff)
4. Stake out and claim the most comfortable spots on every piece of furniture, in every room.
5. Protect your stuff. (and any good stuff that's not yours but should be)
6. Don't hold in your bark. (it's worse than trying to stifle a sneeze--you could blow your brains out)
7. Perfect your SuperCute stare and Wanting Whine to procure anything you want. (like your spot on the couch)
8. Be distrustful of even the tastiest snacks during allergy season. (Just say No to drugs!)
9. Perfect your Hateful Glare (for when you have been insulted)