Life is so uncertain...

♫Here I am♫
♫Yes it's me♫
♫Take my paw ♫
♫And you'll see♫
♫Here I am♫
♫Yes it's true♫
♫The only dog in Congress♫
♫Is the Loo!♫
 

Here's a funny little fact for you.  The election was cancelled here.  Yep, it's true.  I figure this means whoever was running against me turned chicken.  Ha! Ha!  Chicken, get it?  Mmm...chicken.  AnyLoo, a forfeit is a win as far as I can tell.

Leave it to Little Bit, my campaign manager and killjoy, to come up with a different story.  She says, "Lyle, the election is cancelled because there aren't any terms ending this year."  I say, "I WIN!!! Neener, neener, neener!"  But I guess I didn't really.  No problemo, says me.  Another year to get ready.  Campaigning is fun.  There is candy.  But the intern has to go.

Now I can focus on the Great American Novel.  Things are getting interesting.

Chapter 10

“RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!”

Chapter 11

            “What in the name of Davy Crockett’s wooly undies is going on in this city?” bellowed the Chief of Police.  “I want answers, and I want them NOW!”
            The police station was bedlam.  Every phone was either ringing or being answered by a harried officer.  Reports of a creature ransacking the city were pouring in from everywhere, but no one seemed to have any real facts.
            “It’s huge!  It’s tearing down the Hancock Building!” insisted one caller.  Another insisted it had risen from Lake Michigan, Chicago’s own Nessie, and was heading for the Shedd Aquarium to feed.
            “Facts! Now!” demanded the chief.
            A terrified officer approached him with a stack of faxes.  “Ch-ch-chief?  A-all we know for sure is that ambulances are at an ap-p-p-artment building s-ss-south of town.  Ap-pparently there are injuries and the b-b-b-uilding is damaged,” he stuttered, hunkering down in anticipation of the chief’s wrath.
            “Spit it out, son!” Chief of Police Dexter was already near the end of his tether, and the reports had only started an hour ago.  “I need choppers!  SWAT teams!  And some more FACTS!  Everybody, hang up your phones.  I don’t give a tinker’s dam what those crazies are saying.  I want all of you, every one of you out there, NOW.  Find out what is going on and report back to me within the hour.”  Dozens of dumbstruck officers stared at him in shock.   “NOW!!!” Dexter bellowed.  A mass of uniforms raced for the doors and Chief Dexter was finally alone.  He sighed and sat, rubbing his eyes with his paws.  He glanced at the clutter on the desk in front of him.   Stacks of hastily scribbled messages from scores of callers lay scattered across the desk.  He pawed through a few and slowly shook his head.  There was no pattern to the reports, nothing that could possibly be true.  Still, something had to be happening to cause the panic.  “Why does Armageddon have to fall on my watch?” he sighed.  He grabbed his vest and gun and headed out to see for himself.