Deep Thoughts, by Lyle

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Another SherLyle Holmes Mystery:  The Mystery of the Trashed Trash

I was dozing in my crate when a leggy brunette raced in, anxious and panting.  "Inspector!  I need your help!"

"What can I do for you, little lady?" I asked.

"We've been robbed!  The kitchen has been trashed!"

I got up and stretched.  This sounded serious, too serious for me, in fact.  "Did you call the police?"

The brunette glared at me.  "Of course not.  How would I dial 9-1-1?  How would YOU dial 9-1-1?"

I closed my eyes and sent up a silent wish.  Opened them, looked at my paws and sighed.  Rats.  Still no thumbs.  "Okay, well, then, what can I do?"

"Let me show you what I found."  The brunette said as she led me into the kitchen.  The trash drawer was wide open and the bag ripped to shreds all over the floor.  Kleenex, empty wrappers, and a big Ziploc freezer bag were strewn far and wide.

I bent down for a closer look.  Mmm....cinnamon sugar. 

"Inspector!  Aren't you contaminating the evidence?"  The brunette pushed me aside.  Another CSI junkie, I figured.  Too much television and everyone's a critic. 

"Mmm...evidence."  A thought occurred to me as I hoovered up the last of the crumbs.  "You know, miss, we should be careful.  The burglar could still be here.  I wonder what he was after, anyway."

"I think that Ziploc held a big hunk of cinnamon raisin bread the boss man threw out before he left.  In fact I know it was there because it broke my heart to see him throw it away.  And now it's gone!"

Sounded like a confession to me.  I was  looking around for my pawcuffs (drat! where did I leave them last?) when a shady-looking terrier-type waddled by. 

"Hey!  You there!"  I called out.  She turned and looked at me briefly.  Her face was covered in cinnamon sugar.  Mmm...cinnamon sugar.  Finally, someone else who doesn't watch CSI.  Maybe not so shady after all.  "Did you happen to see anyone suspicious come this way?  Maybe someone tearing up a trash bag or eating a hunk of bread?"

The terrier opened her mouth to answer but belched instead.  Phew.  Smelled like fermented dough.  Somebody's had one too many, I thought.

Finally I found my pawcuffs.  They're never where I expect them to be.  I cuffed the brunette and read her her rights.

"It wasn't me!  I was in the same room as you the whole time!  What about Spring?  She's covered in cinnamon sugar and it looks like her belly is going to explode!  Don't you think it could have been her?"

I sighed.  I suggested she watch Law and Order instead.

Another SherLyle mystery solved!