I have new grass in the back yard. It is wonderfully thick and green because the grrrls and I are not allowed to run around like crazy dogs on it yet. We are allowed to mosey and sniff, so I can say for sure it is pretty good grass.

The grass is not the problem. What is the problem is whatever is under the grass. It attacked me today. I was minding my own business, looking to take care of some bidness as a matter of fact, when whatever is lurking under the grass came out and spat at me. Hissing, gushing, spraying water right in my face. It was horrible.

I still don't know what it was. Do whales live under the grass? Was it a geyser? I have no idea and I guarantee I will not be getting close enough again to find out. I'll send Spring.