Survivor:  Backyard--episode 2

Handsome host: Welcome back to Survivor: Backyard. We are getting ready to meet our 16 contestants and divide them into teams.

MacKenzie: Lyle, there are only four contestants here.

HH: What? What happened?

McK: I think Spring scared them away.

Spring: Did not.

McK: Even I could hear you barking.

Spring: Well, it's my house. What were they doing here, anyway?

HH: It's my TV show, Spring! Now what am I supposed to do? I don't have enough contestants.

Maebe: I'll be on the show, Lyle.

Spring: If Maebe's going, I'm going.

McK: Lyle, don't you think that Spring and Maebe might have a bit of an advantage, seeing as how it's their own backyard?

HH: Oh, I really wouldn't worry about that. But we can separate them, to even out the handicap. So who made it here?

McK: I was able to sneak Baxter, Vincent, Rosie, and Comu' in the side gate while Spring was barking at the others.

HH: So we have six? Okay, then, welcome everybody. Vincent and Rosie, you'll be on a team with Spring. You'll be the, ah..(glances around yard for ideas) Dead Petunias. Baxter and Comu', you'll be with Maebe. Your team is the Empty Birdfeeders. Your first assignment is to build a shelter for the night.

Spring: What? I have to sleep out here?

Maebe: Build a shelter? Out of what??

HH, to McK: Are you still worried they're going to give anybody an advantage?

McK: Not so much.

Vincent: What are the rules?

HH: Glad you asked, Vincent. Each team must build shelter for the night with whatever materials you can find. Kenzie and I will check in with you in the morning and evaluate your progress.

Rosie: That's the only rule? Really? No more rules? (Rosie dashes off and begins digging in the bushes, Spring barking and nipping at her heels)

HH: Sorry, Vincent.

Baxter: Comu', Maebe, are you ready to work?

Comu': Let's get to it!

Maebe (crying softly with lower lip trembling): Work??

HH: I think we've got great contestants, don't you, Kenzie? Let's go inside and have some dinner. Our teams have lots of work to do.

Spring (glancing up from nipping at Rosie's hocks): WE DON'T GET DINNER???

See you on the next episode of Survivor: Backyard!

Survivor:  Backyard--episode 3

Handsome Host Lyle: Before we turn in for the night, let's check out our video footage of our teams hard at work making their shelters. Here's Team Empty Birdfeeders, hard at work on an impressive structure. Somehow they actually got Maebe to work, how, I have no idea. She's busy jumping up to the roof with supplies. Comu' is working on the siding...it looks pretty sturdy. I have to wonder if he's done this before. Now, what's Baxter up to? He's got what looks like a gum wrapper, maybe some coaxial cable...I can't tell what else. Any insights on what he might be doing, MacKenzie?

MacKenzie: It's hard to know, Lyle. He spent some time on the streets and he can be pretty crafty. We'll just have to wait and see. Let's go check in with the Dead Petunias. Oh, things aren't looking so good over there. The yard is full of holes, but I think Rosie has finally stopped digging. She's tearing down trees and bringing sticks over for their shelter. Spring is sorting through them, but she doesn't seem happy with what she sees. She's flinging most of them away--and poor Vincent just can't help but go chase after every one and bring them back. There's a lot of work going on over there, but I can't say I see much progress. It's going to be a long, cold night for the Dead Petunias, I'm afraid.

HH: I hope they all get some rest. Tomorrow's a big day with another challenge in store! Be sure to tune in!

Survivor:  Backyard--episode 4

Handsome Host Lyle: Welcome back to another exciting day in my backyard! My lovely co-host MacKenzie and I are just about to head out to see how our teams have done creating shelter, using only items they were able to find in the yard. Any predictions, Kenzie?

Lovely co-host MacKenzie: As much as I hate to say it, Lyle, I think my brother's team is going to come out the winner on this one. Comu' and Baxter were both street dogs. They've had practice making something out of nothing.

HH: Well, let's go see.

(approaches Team Empty Birdfeeders and their impressive two-story shelter)

HH: Wow! This is really something. (peers inside) Is that a coffee maker? Does it work?

Baxter: Sure does, Lyle. Care for a latte?

HH: Thanks, Baxter. (staring at coffee maker) Did you make that out of a gum wrapper and coaxial cable?

Baxter: That, and a flower pot I found in the yard. Don't tell the Dead Petunias, it might have been theirs.

Maebe: I made a loft! Look! (leaps up to top level, then back down again, repeatedly)

HH: How on earth did you get her to do that?

Maebe: Three little words, Lyle: Cap-poo-chino! (Leaps back up to loft, circles quickly 3 times in each direction, curls up and falls to sleep immediately)

Baxter: Don't worry, I cut her off.

Comu': That girl on caffeine is really something else.

HH: Yikes.

Comu': Come inside, Lyle and Kenzie. You'll see that our shelter is built to local code and insulated. We're thinking of making it a Starbucks franchise.

HH: Oh, good! We don't have one on my block.

Kenzie: Let's go check out Team Dead Petunias. It looks like their shelter is perhaps not so sturdy.

HH: Good morning, Vincent. You look exhausted. Have a latte.

Vincent: Thanks, Lyle. It's been a rough night. (glances back at the shelter, which is a jumble of sticks, some of which are painted pink)

Rosie (dipping a paintbrush in a tiny bottle of paint and alternately touching up spots on the shelter and her toenails): Don't blame me. I brought you lots of sticks. All you had to do was stack them together.

Vincent: Someone kept tossing the sticks away. (glares at Spring, who is curled up outside the shelter, snoring loudly) What else could I do? Once we finally assembled a lean-to, and tried to settle in for the night, Spring tore it all down. She was screaming something like, "You can't lock me in!"

HH: I've heard that before. Sorry, Vincent. Tough break, but I think it's clear who the winner of this challenge has to be. Team Empty Birdfeeders, come and collect your prize!

Comu': A prize? What did we win??

Kenzie: A comfy dog bed for each of you. Congratulations!

(Cheers from Comu' and Baxter. Maebe snorts in her sleep.)

HH: Team Dead Petunias, you'll need to meet us at the Council Fire this evening. One of you must be sent home, and it's up to you to choose who has to leave.

Spring (wakes with a start): Leave? Choose me! I'll go!

Kenzie: It doesn't work that way, Spring. Everyone has to vote, and whoever receives the most votes then leaves.

Spring: No way. Unless you're roasting hot dogs on that Council Fire, I'm outta here. I'm hungry! Smell you all later. (Stalks off, slamming the back door on her way into the house)

HH: I can't say I didn't see that coming. Team Dead Petunias, you're down one member...

(A voice from the front yard calls out) Hello? Am I late? Lyle, can I come into the yard? It's me, Morgan!

Kenzie: Morgan! You made it!

Morgan: Do I smell coffee?

HH: Anyone have any objections to Morgan joining the game? No? Well, then, Team Dead Petunias, welcome your new member. Get to know each other, because when we come back you'll all be facing another challenge!