It's official.  Spring has sprung. 

She's the new dog in the house.  She looks like Groucho Marx.

She has more energy than a dog should.  Get this:  she gets up early and then she wants to play.  That is definitely not natural.  The only reason I can think of to get up is to get an early start on my morning nap. 

Spring has done time in Juvey.  Twice.  She'll tell you she was at the pound, but I know better.  I'm hoping she can teach me prison lingo.  I'd like to learn some bad words.  Spring says if I keep asking her about what it's like to do hard time I'll learn lots of them.  Isn't that nice?

High Stakes
Chapter 23

          “I know!  I’ll disguise myself as a doctor.  You can be my nurse.  We’ll grab Sinty and if anyone asks what we’re doing, I’ll say I’m taking her for tests.  Stat!” I was particularly proud of this plan because I’d always wanted to shout “Stat!” in a hospital.  “Just let me run back to my office and get some disguises.”  I turned and trotted back in the opposite direction, but was abruptly stopped by a rude tug on my tail. 

          “No!” Samantha insisted.  “We’re going to the hospital now.  I don’t want to waste another minute.”

          “Do you mind letting go of my tail first?”

          Samantha had the good grace to look ashamed, although she didn’t exactly apologize.  She did, however, release her death grip on my tail, and that was going to have to be close enough.  I explained to her that I was certain we would not be able to sneak Sinty out undetected unless we had some sort of plan, or at the very least, an excuse.  Samantha was not convinced. 

          “Well, you can’t be a doctor, that’s for sure,” she said.

          “Why not?  I’d be a great doctor.”  To emphasize my point, I shouted “Stat!” again and smiled confidently.

          Samantha stared at me, apparently unimpressed.  “For one thing, your appearance is too…ah, how shall I say it…striking.   Someone would have noticed a doctor like you before,” she stated.  She paused, put a paw on my wrist and said softly, “You don’t exactly blend in.”

          I considered this for a moment.  She was right, of course.  Any doctor as handsome as me couldn’t possibly expect to pass through hospital halls unobtrusively.  Dogs would probably stop and ask me medical questions.  Or ask me why I wasn’t on television. 

          We arrived at the hospital a few minutes later but I still didn’t know how to get Sinty past her police guard and the nurses.  Just then a laundry van pulled up to the loading area at the side of the hospital and several workers in white jumpsuits unloaded large white carts and began wheeling them through the service doors.  Samantha was bouncing up and down beside me.  I figured she had a thing for socks.  As it turned out, what she had was our plan.

          We watched the van from afar, waiting until the employees were all inside the hospital, and then dashed over.  The back doors to the van had been left open, revealing two more empty carts and several jumpsuits hanging from hooks on the inside walls.

          “It’s perfect!” Samantha whispered.  She tossed a jumpsuit to me.  “Put this on and help me push out one of these carts.  We’ll go to Sinty’s room, pretend we’re collecting linens, and stuff her inside along with the bed sheets.  Once we get out the door, we’re home free!”  She was almost breathless with excitement.

          I struggled into the jumpsuit and evaluated my appearance in the van’s side mirror.  “Don’t you think I’m too handsome to be a laundry worker, too?” I asked.

          Samantha gave me a blank look and ignored my question.  Quietly we rolled a cart into the hospital.  “Keep your head down,” Samantha hissed.  “We don’t want to attract attention.”  I pushed the cart from behind and tried to heed her advice.  I couldn’t help but sneak glances from the corner of my eye and imagine how fantastic I would have looked striding through the halls as Dr. Peabody.  Some other day.  My reverie was interrupted by a soft “oof” from the front of the cart.  Samantha growled, “Watch where you’re going” as she shoved the cart and herself away from the wall I’d pushed them into.

          “I was doing a good job keeping my head down,” I offered with a sheepish grin.  She glared at me and kept pulling the cart down the hall.  When we arrived at Sinty’s room I was relieved to see the officer standing guard was not familiar.  Samantha pushed the cart through authoritatively, announcing, “Linen change!”

          I closed the door behind us.  Sinty was dozing in her bed, unaware.  I watched as Samantha woke her gently and explained the situation.  Sinty was still blinking slowly as she nodded her assent to our proposal.  I couldn’t help but wonder if she was perhaps still a little confused.  I hoped it wouldn’t jeopardize the plan.

          Silently, we loaded Sinty into the laundry cart and piled her bed linens over her.  “Could you wait just a minute?” she asked, poking her head up through the blankets.  “I need to…”

          “We’ll have you out of here in no time at all,” Samantha interrupted.  “Whatever it is, I’m sure it can wait.”  She tucked Sinty out of sight.  We all took a deep breath and opened the door.

Chapter 24

          The startled expression on the face of the lovely Catahoula nurse on the other side of the door was quickly transformed into one of suspicion and annoyance.

          “What are you doing in my patient’s room?” she demanded, brandishing a bedpan like a baseball bat.  We had attracted the attention of Sinty’s officer on guard as well; he rose from his chair and stood behind the nurse, pinning me with an intimidating stare.  I dropped my eyes to the floor and waited for Samantha to say something.

          Her voice was not nearly as authoritative as it had been a moment earlier, and she peeped, “Linen change.”  I was about to remind her to keep her head down when the Catahoula nurse grabbed her by the collar of her purloined jumpsuit.  I sneaked a peek and saw Samantha’s back paws barely brushing the linoleum.  The nurse, whose badge revealed her name to be Kiko, was snarling directly into Samantha’s face.  “You have no business entering patient rooms.  You should know that.”  A strange little strangled noise came from Samantha and I realized she couldn’t speak to defend herself.  It would be up to me to rescue her with my charisma.  I wasn’t worried; very few ladies can resist me.

          “Excuse me, Nurse Kiko.  May I say you have the loveliest ears?  There are so many pretty nurses here, I’ve lost my head.  I think I mistook this patient’s room for the laundry.”  I chuckled and tried to look embarrassed.  “And now we’re lost.  Would you be so kind as to direct us to the laundry?”  I gave her my most charming smile and watched her defensive demeanor melt like butter in my paws.  Kiko loosened her grip on Samantha’s jumpsuit and Samantha gasped in what must have been relief, although her expression looked more like disbelief.  I suspected that was simply the result of the choking.

          Several moments passed and Kiko’s expression was unreadable. Undeterred, I broadened my smile.  “Turn down this long hallway to your left,” she finally said, pointing with the bedpan.  “You’ll see a sign.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, my patient needed…” she broke off mid-sentence, staring at the laundry cart we were beginning to push out of the room.  I followed her gaze and was horrified to see a stream of yellow liquid leaking from one corner of the cart.  The pile of laundry rustled almost imperceptibly.  Samantha must have seen it too, because she suddenly found her voice. 

          “Sorry!  We’re leaving.  Let’s go, Lyle,” she barked.  We double-timed it out the door, leaving a piddle trail in our wake.  I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for Sinty, but it was far too late to ask to borrow the bedpan.  I turned and gave Kiko a wink and smile as we hustled down the hall.  My charms were rewarded with a bedpan clanging off the wall just above my head.  We broke into a run and dashed out the loading dock door.