The holidays are coming up (mmm...turkey day) and you'll see all sorts of news about food safety. Well, I am here to provide you with some REAL food safety news. It has been a while since I did a Public Service Announcement. I am overdue.
So gather 'round, pups, for a lesson on Drool Safety.
With all these good tasting holidays around (mmm...pumpkin pie), drool happens. It's a fact of life. Don't be ashamed, but do be aware.
The most important thing to know about Drool Safety is that drool tends to undermine your SuperHandsomeness, at least to the (admittedly inferior) eyes of people. You might be sitting there next to the holiday table (mmm...mashed taters) looking all cute-like and irresistible when the inevitable happens. Then instead of, "Oh, look how cute he is. Have a turkey leg." you get, "Eeeew! Lyle, that's disgusting!" Very disappointing if you had your eye on the turkey leg. Which, of course, you did.
So, my friends, keep the drool in check. There are a couple of ways to do this. 1. Keep your mouth shut. Simple but effective. The down side is the big puddle of drool falls out when you get your turkey leg and if you're not fast enough your prize may be taken away as your person turns to gag. 2. Swallow. Very hard to do when you're focused on the basket of dinner rolls. (mmm...dinner rolls). But safer overall if you're not the "snatch and run" type.
If nothing else works, at least try to be courteous with your spillage. Drool on a hardwood floor can be very slippery. While this might bring you short term gains (Dropped rib roast! Mine, all mine!) if your people find out what they slipped in when they dropped the main course, you're likely to be banished to a bedroom for all future holiday meals. Lesson learned: drool on the carpet.
Also avoid drooling on shorter dogs. Sure, it's funny and they smell like your spit (hee, hee) but terriers carry grudges. Trust me on this one. (Can I help it Spring is shorter than me? No. Can I help it she was sitting under my chin? Also no. But for the peace keeping benefits, I'll drool on Maebe next time.)
Study these lessons carefully my friends, and have a happy holiday season!